DFF Item #10

What is Hydro-Chloro-Flouro-Neurotic Acid, and how/what is it used for? 

Hydro-Chloro-Flouro-Neurotic Acid is a chemical developed in the laboratories of National Chemical and Refining. While the name sounds ominous, in reality, it is an additive in eye drops for infants. The full CBR suits worn by the plant workers involved in it's production are merely a precaution and are not indicative of any danger to the employees. There is no truth to the rumor that the United States Government considers a tank car of Hydro-Chloro-Flouro-Neurotic Acid to be a Weapon of Mass Destruction nor does the armed members of Seal Team Two accompanying the shipment have any significance whatsoever. 

Why is it left lying around in leaky tank cars? 

The "tank cars" you refer to are not tank cars at all but are used Nuclear Fuel Transportation Vessels which the Lackawanna Terminal Railway has purchased from the United States Nuclear Regulatory Agency at a discounted price. What you refer to as "leaking" is simply condensation which forms on the outside of the vessel due to the enormous heat generated by the chemical within the vessel. The fact that the railroad uses such a vessel must not be construed to mean that there is any danger of any kind to the employees of the LT, NC and R, or anyone near the railroad while the chemical is being transported. 

Well, Mr. " I run a clean, tight, operation": 

We have discovered inconsistencies in your explanations/excuses about a particular HAZ-MAT you transport; namely Hydro-Chloro-Flouro-Neurotic Acid. When asked, the EPA said it was a "strong corrosive agent". When we asked both the American Chemical Society and the American Chemical Manufacturer's Association, they both replied that it was one of the ten most dangerous man made chemicals on the planet, due in part that it contains numerous free radicals: Chlorous (3), Chloric (7), Flourous (5), Flouric (2), Sulfates of Hydrogen, Sodium, Mercury 7-7-3, Phosphates of sodium and  chromium. In short, it will dissolve almost anything it comes in contact with except Lead, and certain silica based compounds, such as a very limited number of ceramics. Its boiling point is minus 137 degrees C. Scientists believe that at absolute zero, it will have the consistency of very thick paint. At 100% concentration, its vapor will peel the paint off of the side of a house at a distance of 1/3 mile. As far as shipping it in decommissioned nuclear fuel tank cars, the manufacturer had little choice. These cars a very thick alloy steel, and lined with Lead. However, test show that over a few months, the acid will migrate through the Lead in the way that water will seep through masonry. 

The only safe way to deal with this stuff is to dilute it to a concentration of at least 100 PPM. 

Now what do you say? 

Ever concerned with safety in the workplace and a cleaner environment, the concerned management team at the Lackawanna Terminal asked the "Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Safety in the Workplace Self Empowerment Committee" to check with the fine chemists employed at the Depew, NY facility of the National Chemical and Refining Corporation. They confirm all your findings as to the potent nature of the chemicals you describe. They say, however, that the addition of the Neurotic Free Radical makes the solution so afraid to react with any other material that it becomes completely docile and thereafter safe enough to drink. In fact, only the smallest amount, less than 5 PPM, is required to tame the most dangerous of solutions because the newly created solution's fear of getting involved with it's environment grows upon itself to the point where it actually makes surrounding chemical solutions inactive as well. 

While the Neurotic Free Radical was created in the 1960s during the development of mind altering chemicals, it was the invention of totally new "Free Radical Social Integration Technology" that allowed the new use of this Neurotic Free Radical that won the chemists at NC and R a Nobel Prize for Chemistry. 

In fact, the Neurotic Free Radical could be used to clean up every Toxic Waste Site in the world had not the NC and R accounting department placed such a high price on the Neurotic Free Radical that not even the G7 nations could afford to purchase it. This "radically" new concept of taking an incredibly important scientific discovery and making it too expensive to use was presented in a paper delivered at the annual meeting of  The American Association of Certified Profitable Accountants. The paper, titled "The Manipulation of the Free Radical and its Eventual Conversion into the Value Added Radical", received seven standing ovations during the presentation. NC and R Corporation is justly proud of the fine employees working diligently in the accounting department.. 

While we understand your concern for the environment and unhealthy chemical additives in consumer products we hope that you will be reassured, as we are, of the safety and quality of the products developed by the environmentally conscious people of NC and R. 

As to the deterioration of the shipping vessels used to transport the Hydro-Chloro-Flouro-Neurotic Acid, the Lackawanna Terminal Railway tests it's rolling stock in accordance with AAR regulations and the car department assures us that all the equipment described as used Nuclear Fuel Transportation Vessels are in excellent condition and present no hazard either to the workers, the environment, or the public at large. 

Again, we thank you for your concern and hope this answers all your questions about the products transported by the Lackawanna Terminal Railway.

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