DFF Item #14

14. Speaking of Toxic Waste Dumps, isn't it true that the Lackawanna Terminal Railway offered to donate a parcel of land to the City of Buffalo to build a new hockey arena and that this land is on the EPA's "Most Dangerously Toxic Waste Dump" list (a list so exclusive that the only other site included is the Chernobyl Nuclear Reactor building and adjacent grounds located in the former Soviet Union)? In addition, is it not true that this parcel of land is so polluted that the EPA has determined that the only means of properly cleaning the site is to explode a nuclear device in the middle of the dump? What do you say to that, FAQ Man? 

Ever mindful of the appropriate use of mass transit for moving large groups of people and, therefore, the growing imperative for mass transit in urban locations, the Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Management Team felt that a sports arena located adjacent to railroad property would provide a convenient, low impact, environmentally friendly way for fans to see their favorite teams in competition. 

To this end, the Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Community Sports and Exposition Arena Location and Development Committee, in cooperation with the City of Buffalo Council for the Improvement of Revenues, chose a little used parcel of land located next to the property of the Buffalo Baby Food Company, a valued customer of the railroad and producer of the finest baby food products available on the market today. 

The Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Community Sports and Exposition Arena Location and Development Committee, after reading editorials critical of the railroad's legitimate offer to the community of Buffalo in several local papers, offered to investigate the claims that the property is unsuitable for development due to the highly toxic nature of waste material stored there. At the time of the offer, the Committee was unaware that the Buffalo Baby Food Company stored byproducts from the manufacture of their wholesome products at the location selected for the sports arena. In order to clean away any unsubstantiated claims of fraud or smoky specters of deceit, the Committee immediately ordered samples from the property taken to the good people at National Chemical and Refining for analysis. 

The Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Community Sports and Exposition Arena Location and Development Committee, after receiving the results of the tests conducted by our good friends at the National Chemical and Refining Company is happy to announce that the chemicals claimed by so many highly respected scientists and environmental groups to be extremely toxic are nothing more unsavory than products found every day in the average home. It was simply the long chemical names of the materials that caused normally intelligent and well meaning individuals and groups to become alarmed. 

In fact, the Buffalo Baby Food Company, a wholly owned subsidiary of the El Habad Baby Formula Company of Baghdad has assured the Lackawanna Terminal Railway that they thoroughly test all products and materials that leave the building of the Buffalo Baby Food Company for wholesomeness and purity and would not allow any product or material to leave the building if it did not meet their strict quality control criteria. The fact that the Buffalo Baby Food Company bulk ships their products in Lackawanna Terminal's ex-Nuclear Regulatory Commission's recently decommissioned "spent nuclear fuel" tank cars has little impact on the facts of this case. 

To help make the public aware of the Buffalo Baby Food Company's growing commitment to the community, the company has surrounded their Buffalo, NY facility with a crowd of chanting men, women and children, all of whom are employees or relatives of employee who work at the plant. 

The Lackawanna Terminal Railway considers the matter closed at this time.

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