DFF Item #21 and 21a.

21. Dear Mr. Lackawanna Terminal Railway President: 

While doing research involving the untimely and illegal disposal of highly toxic nuclear waste for the Federal Prosecutor's Office - Northern District of New York, in Syracuse, I happened upon the following reports of the improper disposal of nuclear waste by governments involved in space exploration: 

1. 1964: U.S. military navigation satellite carrying two pounds of plutonium plunges to Earth. The radioisotope thermoelectric generator, or RTG, burns up in atmosphere as designed, releasing radioactive material. Accident prompts RTG redesign. 

2. 1968: U.S. weather satellite carrying six pounds of plutonium crashes into the Pacific Ocean off California coast shortly after liftoff. Both RTGs remain intact and are retrieved, reinforced and reflown. 

3. 1970: Apollo 13 lunar lander carrying eight pounds of plutonium is discarded prior to crew's return from aborted moon mission, and the RTG sinks in the South Pacific near Fiji. Still there and believed to be intact. 

4. 1978: Soviet spy satellite launched four months earlier with nuclear reactor containing 100 pounds of uranium plunges through atmosphere over Canada's Northwest Territories. Most burns up in atmosphere, but some survives. Radioactive debris found on ground as small as grain of salt. Cleanup lasts weeks. 

5. 1996: Russian Mars probe plunges through atmosphere soon after launch, and its half pound of plutonium supposedly lands in Pacific Ocean, Chile or Bolivia. Plutonium unit not yet found. 

While delving further into this topic I was shocked to learn from sources inside the space agencies of these two countries that the National Chemical and Refining Company of Depew, New York, with the  cooperation of the Lackawanna Terminal Industries, Inc., was instrumental in the processing and transportation of large quantities of nuclear (specifically plutonium) waste which eventually made it's way into the all the satellites mentioned as well as the Apollo 13 lunar lander and that the Lackawanna Terminal Industries, Inc., through it's subsidiary SpaceLift, Inc., was responsible for the design, construction, and launching of the above mentioned American satellites, the Soviet spy satellite, and the Soviet Mars probe whose subsequent losses, mentioned above, can be traced directly to the draconian cutting of costs resulting in poor design, shoddy workmanship, and nonexistent supervision involved in these space programs. 
    
The subsequent undesirable and totally illegal distribution of large amounts of uranium and plutonium into the earth's atmosphere and land environment is now the focus of the indignation and rage of environmental groups and agencies throughout the world. We have further discovered that the money derived from these unnecessary cost cutting procedures carried out by the Lackawanna Terminal Industry's subsidiary, SpaceLift, Inc., was used to finance an enormous Christmas party on the island of Viti Levu, the site of Suva, the capital of Fiji resulting in the actual loss of four of the smaller islands once included in the chain of islands which were part of the country of Fiji: a party from which this South Pacific region has yet to recover. 
    
What have you to say about your complicity in this most serious crime against the environment 
and all humanity? 

Sincerely, 
John Montenigro 
Office of the Federal Prosecutor 
Northern District of New York 
Syracuse, New York 

Dear Mr. Montenigro; 

The Lackawanna Terminal Industry's subsidiary, The Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Department of Nuclear Fuel Transportation and Disposal reports that they have no knowledge of the loss of either nuclear fuel or the residue of nuclear fuel while such fuel or residue of such fuel was being transported by the Lackawanna Terminal Railway or any of it's subsidiary companies or assigns. While the Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Department of Nuclear Fuel Transportation and Disposal freely admits that the railroad does transport nuclear fuel and the residue of nuclear fuel in cooperation with agencies of the United States and several foreign sovereignties, the railroad's policies and procedures for the transportation and disposal of the above mentioned nuclear fuels and residuals of nuclear fuels complies with all current safety requirements for the transportation and disposal of nuclear fuels and the residuals of nuclear fuels. Evidence to the contrary is moot since all markings of the Lackawanna Terminal Industry's subsidiary, SpaceLift, Inc. are routinely removed before the launch of any SpaceLift, Inc. space vehicle. 

It might also be of interest to note that the Lackawanna Terminal Industries, Inc. has recently sold it's subsidiary company, SpaceLift, Inc., to the Instituto Nacional de Pesquisas Espaciais which is headquartered in Polatas, Brazil with launch facilities on the Nicobar Islands near the Bay of Bengal. Further inquiries concerning the loss of nuclear fuels or the residue of nuclear fuels should be forwarded to the Instituto Nacional de Pesquisas Espaciais head office in Polatas, Brazil. 

The "Christmas party" mentioned in your letter was nothing more than the celebration of the anniversary of the 1774 visit to the islands by Captain James Cook. The celebration was  financed by the good people of The Lackawanna Terminal Industry's Department of Community Affairs, in  cooperation with the government of the Fiji Islands with money derived from it's various transportation subsidiaries, including SpaceLift, Inc. The Lackawanna Terminal Industries, Inc. has it's headquarters on the Main Island of Viti Levu. The supposed loss of part of the island chain was the result of nothing more heinous than an unusually high tide. The four lost islands are expected to return soon although experts in the field are reluctant to voice specifics. 

We are certain we have answered all your concerns and have put this matter to rest once and for all. We thank you for your interest in the Lackawanna Terminal Railway. 

Sincerely, 
The Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Department of Archive Destruction 

21a. Not so fast, Mr. Lackawanna Terminal Railway President: 

There still remains the question of the illegal re-use of the retrieved nuclear waste in local hospitals for radiation therapy and other such non regulated activities. It was even rumored that some of the Lackawanna Terminal Railway's management were obtaining the material under the guise of medicinal purposes, and actually using it to power their outdoor Christmas lighting. Could there be any truth to this? 
    
And finally, there was the question of just exactly what equipment the Lackawanna Terminal Railway used in the recovery of some of those materials from the ocean floor... Is it true that the Lackawanna Terminal Railway has actually been building secret deep sea recovery vehicles under "black ops" contracts with the NSA and the CIA, while telling its shareholders and the public that these were new engine designs? 
    
Remember, documents previously held secret during the Cold War were recently de-classified "accidentally" when the Associated Press made Freedom of Information requests and an NSA clerk provided the files detailing the US's submarine spy program. It was rumored that the Lackawanna Terminal Railway might have been involved in retrieving the Thresher's reactor from the Atlantic Ocean, but the Associated Press hasn't revealed that story. . .yet. 

What do you say to that, Mr. Lackawanna Terminal President? 

Sincerely, 
John Montenigro 
Office of the Federal Prosecutor 
Northern District of New York 
Syracuse, New York 

Dear Mr. Montenigro: 

It is not likely that the first of these specious allegations will be proven to be true since the remains of the patients involved cannot be approached for confirmation for at least 200,000 years. 

As to the use of nuclear fuel to supply the electrical power for the Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Annual Christmas Display and Extravaganza, such action was necessitated by the inability of the Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railroad or the Union Pacific Railroad to deliver sufficient amounts of Powder River Basin coal to meet the electrical needs of this well known annual Christmas spectacular. So as not to disappoint the needy and deserving youth of Scranton alternate sources of electrical generation were sought. The slightly used RTGs discarded by the space agencies of the United States and the Soviet Union proved more than adequate for the purpose and were gratefully accepted by the Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Annual Christmas Extravaganza Celebration Committee. So as not to seem ungrateful for the space agencies' largess, the RTGs are now being used in place of the normal  locomotive "prime movers" in several Lackawanna Terminal Railway locomotives. These locomotives are test beds for advance concepts in motive power design being developed by the Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Department of Brute Force Evolution. 

To answer your third allegation, while it is true that the Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Department of Underwater Research and Development has, in the past, worked in cooperation with several agencies of the United States Government there is no proof that any department of the Lackawanna Terminal Railway has in any way cooperated with the NSA or CIA. The fact that the research vessel, Glomar Explorer, is docked on the banks of the Roaring Brook at the Nay Aug Park just east of Scranton, PA. is of no significance whatsoever. 

There is no truth to the rumor that the missing SSBN Thresher's nuclear reactor has replaced the old coal fired boiler in the basement of the Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Headquarters in Scranton, Pa. and to answer your last statement, The Lackawanna Terminal Railway's Department of Archive Destruction can kick AP butt! 

We hope this finally answers all your questions and assuages all your concerns relative to the Lackawanna Terminal Railway operations and procedures. We thank you for your interest. 

Sincerely, 
The Lackawanna Terminal Department of Archive Destruction 

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